Self-discovery. People wouldn't go on a journey of self-discovery as they would think they know themselves better. I beg to differ. The time when people go on a journey is to see things, others to enjoy, and for me to rediscover who I am.
And as time goes by, I discovered somethings about myself which I previously do not know about. That I am a passionate person, who loves the people around me except that sometimes, I just don't want to acknowledge this fact. Probably this fact may bog me down, or it could be my weakness, I'm not sure. I just don't know.. A part of me want to find out what does it actually mean, but another part of me just doesn't feel that its real enough. What should I do?
I recently went on a trip to Malaysia with Daniel and Yew Jia, to buy tib-bits for our drinking session. As we went along, I feel myself getting attracted to Yew Jia for her personality and uniqueness. It was something that I have felt before. She said that, "During this 3 years of poly, you didn't have a girlfriend? Oh my god!" Oh yes, "oh my god", people always say that when in disbelief.
Its not that I'm choosy, but girls are materialistic nowadays! They want Prada, Louis Vuitton or Chanel. They want a rich guy or handsome guy to be their boyfriend. Nothing short of those two qualities. Yes, I may not be rich or handsome. I may not be muscular like those bodybuilders you see out there. But at least, I have a heart. I don't hanker after money, power or fame, I just want to lead a normal life with a normal girl who loves me for who I am, not what I am. Is it really that difficult?
The drinking session that happened made me realised a lot of things. I can, for one, hold my Liquor well, two, take care of my friends, and three, sit down for hours and just watching a girl sleep peacefully, well-knowing that I am there to protect her.
Sometimes, I would make a wish. That I am someone else, leading a different life. But then yet again, I am also glad I am living this life, for if not, I wouldn't have met all these great friends of mine!
Speaking of yew jia, she's quite a nice person, I really don't mind her poking/retorting my sentences and all sort, because I feel for her. Maybe I should start cultivating this new-found ability to feel and care for people. Sometimes, I just wish that....
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now...