Senses has been awaken, but it isn't exactly what I have expected though.

Self-discovery. People wouldn't go on a journey of self-discovery as they would think they know themselves better. I beg to differ. The time when people go on a journey is to see things, others to enjoy, and for me to rediscover who I am.

Yesterday, one of my friends from Air Force Training Command, was posted to 124th Squadron at Seletar Air base. Sian. Now no one to chat with le.

Went online to facebook until 2plus am. Went to sleep. Wanted to wake up at 5.45 am to send my parents off, instead I overslept and woke up at 8plus am. I went online to facebook after which I played CS until 2plus pm while eating brunch.

Today woke up at 6.15am, bath and burshed real quick before eating kellong's cornflakes and milo drink for breakfast. Changed into my No.4 and laced up my shoes before rushing out. Out of the house by 6.30, reached the bus stop at 6.35am. waited until 6.55 am before 966 arrived.

Reached the office at 8am. This is ridiculous! Everytime wait for the bus for 15 to 20 mins. Where's the sense of urgency? If Singapore goes to war, The SAF should wait, since the civillians in peacetime already got no sense of urgency liao. whats the point? Hoped the people at TIBS bus service and SBS wake up their ideas.

Office was super cold today. My gotex jacket didnt work its charm, sadly.

Today was the "visit" from Chief of Defence or Air Force, whatever he is. He didnt visit at all. waste of time.

Went to collect my new model kits, Av-98 and Griffon from Anime Series Patlabor, after work. Pre-ordered Av-98-2 on the spot. At home got quite a few model kits havent been fixed up yet.

Jin Cai went in to BMTC already mah? Anyway, wish him luck if he sees this post.

Jun Hao is going to Seletar Air base soon, hope to see him again soon someday for lunch.

Hao cai is going to BMTC soon. Wish him the best of luck!

Charmaine ah Charmaine, you ah... sms you, you also dont want to reply. then, when the date for outing comes nearer, you then reply. msn you, u take a very long time to reply.. I say see movie, you say ok. tell you what movie we gonna watch, you say this and that. I dont know what to say anymore le. Besides, its just a movie, and not any B-grade movie anyway. If it was a b-grade movie, I wouldnt even bother smsing you we gonna watch a movie, coz I wouldnt be there myself. I hope you understand this...

Really dont feel well. Everything's going spiral downwards nowadays. I wish someone is there for me, really take the time to sms me and chat and talk. not just sms to ask what movie and so on. Really. My heart aches every time but then, smses also didnt get replied.

Maybe I should retire from this world...

And...

There's this office lady who's quite funny, older than me by 5 years, I think.. Quite funny and cute.. depends on how u interpret it.. She likes calling my name, and I like calling her name as well. kinda funny everytime we call each other in the office, wonder how it will go from here.

Well, nights world. Or else I wont be able to wake up early again. =D

Above is the song, performed in a concert piece. Canon In D. Kinda cool and wonderful to have finally found this video. =D

Everytime I get angry or pissed, I would just switch to this song and it just calms me down. Kinda Amazing huh? It got references to Christianity, but peeps who know me knows that I am not easily swayed by fanatics, but songs have a different place in my heart! =D

Hmmm, later on in the morning or afternoon, I will be meeting the peeps for a farewell lunch for Dennis as he's going in next week bah. Hao cai enlist date is a different date, so its a separate lunch!

Speaking of BMT, Its kinda reminds me of things. Some awesome and some not so good. But I still managed to pull through it, with the help of Charmaine. If not, anyone can go insane. Coz I am not a people person anymore, so that 5 months was pretty bad, not including the Medical centre screwup.

Memorable are the trainings everyday, the Physical training that is. The Rifle presentation, where u sleep super early at 9pm and wake up at 3am. The Technical Handling of the rifle, the Range, the HG assault course, the Fieldcamp, the Urban-ops, the swims, jogs and runs. All seem so memorable.

But time to move on, I am in the Air Force now. But still without a certain someone, its kinda getting a bit unbearable, so the method of, Yes Mdm or Yes Sir to all sorts of tasks now made me immune to anything, so much so as that I have a migraine most of the time.

Haiz, speaking of which. I almost got into another accident btw. Near the Pending Station bus-stop that traffic-lights there. Coz I normally walk very fast through the traffic lights with my headphones on, so its was a miracle that all of a sudden, I felt very happy and decided to slow down my pace.

If not, I wouldnt be here writing. Coz if I were to walk a little bit faster or the same speed I walk everyday, That mercedes would have shattered me. Not that anyone care. Not even someone who talked to me to helped me kept my mind of things in that 5 months of BMT.

Anyways, I would like to thank my lucky stars and Angels who are following me, If you're reading this, this is for you: Thanks for looking out for me! If not...

Hahha, kind of funny, this is the 2nd time I almost got killed, at the exact same spot. LOL! Thats why, I thank my Angels for looking after me! =D

Anyway, need to sleep already. Having to wake up in the morning has been a chore for me already. Time to get some sleep! Nites world and my Angel!

Morning was quite a rush, or not. Waited for 966 at opp bp cc bus stop and reached the office at 7.45am, not bad a record huh? And today I received a new directive, all personnel reporting to RSAF camps to wear either beret or jockey cap or else will be booked by the rp.

Sadded. T.T

Entire day at office was quite relaxed. Documenting of MCs and filing them into their respective "homes", chit-chat with my friends at the office. Gossipped a bit here and there about SAF stuff (stuff kids shouldnt hear, so I'm not telling anyone. =D)

Went for breakfast and found that I didnt bring money. T.T Ended up have to borrow from my friend! He's quite the understanding type! (Y)

Went back home and as usual, bus was packed, people still brainless, dont want to move into the rear of the bus, as usual. Idiots, I shall say them. Still dont think for others, only think for themselves. Idiots...

Went back home, mom worked till 10pm, dad working till next day morning. So I cooked dinner myself. Campbell's clam chowder and Maggie mee. no mood to cook really delicious food.

Why?

In the office, a lot of people started showing me their photos of themselves with their girlfriends. On facebook, some people changed their display pic showing themselves with their girlfriends or them with some random girl. Not say some, but quite a lot that I knew.

I feel kinda sad.

No girl wants me.

My country doesnt need me.

I dont really feel as though I belonged here.

Coz I dont.

I tried to... make myself feel needed here... wanted to.. make myself belonged to this part of the community... but still fail. I wish.............

Just like that song..

I dont belong here, we've gotta move on here, and escape from this afterlife..

Its been so long since i have updated this blog. Quite sad for a blog with such a nice template, huh? Anyways, I have been posted to RSAF, AFTC for my 2 years of NS stint. Cool huh? Everybody wants this posting, as far as I know.

Well, just to update, I have gotten the Company Best Shot and Perfect Shot, not to mention Marksman during BMT! Even got the Plaque to prove it, except that I was on status, and the bloody SAF revoked my status as company best shot, but i still got my perfect shot plaque.

I also bought myself a messenger bag as a gift to myself, it was also meant as a present for my birthday as well. My mom bought me a Levi's wallet as a present as well! Well, I didnt get to celebrate my birthday this year just like the rest of my life. except for the 21st birthday that time, other than that, this should be my second time celebrating my birthday. Happy Birthday to myself!

Recently, or not so recently was my friend's birthday. One was a girl, the other was a guy. The girl's birthday was so long ago, 4 months ago to be exact. Bought her a gift, but didnt brought it along during a gathering at orchard, coz there was another girl, or was it another 2 girls? Anyway, it has been with me for 4 months le. I seriously hope you can reply my sms, facebook comment or even pick up my call to tell me when will you be free, so i can bring the gift to you. (Just meet up for 5 minutes, pass you you're gift and you can continue your Fyp, coz I know you're busy nowadays.)

For my guy friend's birthday, it was Justin from my NP class! Happy birthday to you man, hope you had a blast, unlike me! It was kinda sad, I actually had to share a gift with others, right on the day of his birthday at his party. It makes me feel sorry for myself, that I could spend 1 entire day picking a gift for a girl who doesnt bother about me, and yet I couldn't spend 1 hour to buy a gift for a best friend who cares about me.

Kinda sick huh?

I mean me. I feel so wretched. I feel like a idiot. No wait, I am a idiot! How could I be such an asshole? And it doesnt make me feel any better, that the gift whom I am supposed to give to the girl, is still with me.

Anyway, I wanna give a shout-out! Happy Birthday Justin, rest assured I WILL buy you a birthday present next year!